My Exam (former My Running)

Yes, my 7th.

I'm proud that I've made it this far. Didn't think I'd stick with it for 3 weeks.

This was a superb night! A superb run! A majestic, dark-blue, starry NIGHT that felt young and deep. I felt sucked in by all this...NATURE. It was a contagious beauty.

Again, I walked ~5min, from the parking lot to the Western side of the trail (which is of a trapezoidal shape). The sun had already set but there was still a light show going on below the clouds. I barely convinced myself to turn my back to it and start running.

I was planning on going the whole 1.25 miles again. I paced myself quite well...didn't feel tired...wasn't dizzy either...After more than half the distance, I passed the Northern entrance of the recreation Center Library and was suddenly faced with the immensity of the dark blue sky..full of bright, sparkling stars. It was all...trembling, almost breathing...that huge night was consuming itself while irresistibly putting on a vast show for us runners..."the night would die of consumption," I thought. It is trying too hard to be beautiful..to get noticed! And what was up with that surreal-looknig quarter moon, so...yellow and so...fairy-tale-like?
I was listening to "Love Song" again...but strangely thinking about someone else...actually the person that had inspired me to run. Before him, I haven't met anybody that really run:) I was impressed with his determination...and I have also seen his results. Wow.. Yeah, so now I found myself thinking about him...I couldn't say why (except for the fact that it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling:) Yep..but it went away later...

Posted by Exam-exam-exam at 12:39 PM | Permalink | Comments

Saturday..
My mom came too..
We each went our separate ways...I wanted to follow my training schedule.
So I walked for 5 min up to a big fence-the end of the Western part of th trail and the begining of someone's yard...and then I turned around and started running. I run and run East..and it suddenly started raining. Not too much in the beginning, so I continued my run...evetually it started pouring decadently...an idecent, cold and sinister autumn rain...September rain that felt like the touch of Death, depressing my spirit, taking away my space, with its long and hysterical water drops. At this moment, I had already turned North on the trail...and could see a group of parents quickly disassemblying a large cart full of goodies-drinks and free food. My mom would later tell me that she had passed them too, when it wasn't raining yet...and that she kind of wanted to get a taste of the food (there was some type of Harvest festival going on). She didn't...she continued her walk and was close to the car when that BIG RAIN started. She would wait for me about 6 minutes until I made it to the car -a poor looking creature, soaked and red-cheeked..and annoyed that she couldn't finish the run.
Total running time ~10minutes.

Sunday...

I went runnig at sunset again. This time is was just cold...but one could see a beautiful, rich-colored sun sinking in the cloud blanket below. Let us dip the end of the day in red and violet!
I RUN THE WHOLE 1.25 mile circuit!!!! Hurray!

I didn't plan on it but it happened. I started slowly and kept going and going like the pink you-know-what:) I was a bit sad...thinking of him again...of how it all happened..of how I couldn't believe that much time had passed...I was listening to the beautiful, sexy "Love Song," by Missez. Boy you make me wanna sing you a love song..

Posted by Exam-exam-exam at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments

I ran again, this time at the Community Center. Just like Thursday. I ran slowly, on grass, at an even pace. It was ok…I felt short of breath a few times but managed to cope. Later in the run the muscles relaxed and I’d breathe easier.

I think I’ll always run at ~7pm, during that time of day when the light is sweet and calming.
I’ve pulled in the parking lot at sunset…there was a big sun, a red one..dipped in dark blue clouds. There was such peace, such sweetness around me..in the air. This time of day is almost mystical… When I was driving, surrounded by this beautiful, dying light, the word “zen” came to mind..

If on Thrusday I was able to run for about 13 minutes, on Sunday the best I could do were 10 minutes. Not because my legs or lungs hurt…but because of a very intense and sharp, localized pain in my stomach. I have no ideea what that was…maybe a muscle rebelling against running:) I eventually sat on a bench, listening to Bob Synclair’s “World, hold on,” until I felt better. The pain was practically gone. But I was too lazy to run again.

During the run, I remember looking at a tubby cat, playing in the tall grass below an alectriciy pole. I called her but she didn’t care…it seemed she had caught something, maybe a mouse. Later on I’ve seen a few guys playing soccer, on the big field bordered by the running trail.

Posted by Exam-exam-exam at 7:56 AM | Permalink | Comments

I have gone out of the house and let the rain drench me…

But I’ve gone on Trail #1! Yesss, through the woods, where I have discovered a short trail (the width of a car)..not very well kept but very pretty and… hidden. Unfortunately, it didn’t go all the way to the end…it’s pretty short. I had to turn back and start on the actual trail, bordering the road. It’s very narrow…and the WORLD was wet…I could hear the sandy earth, mixed with stones, being crunched under each step…Oh that rain!

At first I was out of breath with my lungs aching so gruesomly (begging me to stop). I started out pretty fast. Of course I slowed down after 1 min and then panted for some time..then walked, then ran again, at a more controlled pace. I tried to run whenever I didn’t feel that cruel pain/obstruction in my poor lungs. Eventually, almost when I had to turn back, I started feeling better. I was breathing easier, at full volume.

I must have looked like a miserable creature out there..with my wild-looking hair & pony tail, excessively red cheeks and the green parka, loosly tied around my waist and almost falling onto the ground. Not to mention that my cotton pants were soaked up to my knees, with some thorns and plants on them…Oh, and eventually my shoes became drenched, for I was jumping like a gazelle onto a large, green (now swampy) area.

It was fun. I stopped caring about my clothes, my body, my look…and eventually didn’t feel that dizzy anymore:))) I could actually concentrate and take in the view. I rested on the bridge, while the river run wild beneath…and it was muddy, chocolaty …and rain kept falling onto the surface…and I didn’t care. Stood there, felt the cold metal …and really felt like I was alone and didn’t have to be aware of anything else…

***Today, Wednesday, I bought a new pair of running pants. They’re 100% poliester…capri length. So I won’t get them wet, hopefully;)
Next I bought a pedometer/calorie counter/FM Radio…although after reading a few things online, may not be what I need (which is justa good oldfashioned stop watch). I’m content with my green poliester T-shirt (except for the color which does nothing to signal my presence in the woods or in the dark). I need some additional layer though, hopefully one in a bright color.

Posted by Exam-exam-exam at 7:48 AM | Permalink | Comments

The hardest thing is FINDING MOTIVATION. And keeping it.
I was tired of looking for it in books, magazines and other people...
I've decided to find MY reasons for MY running.

MISSION STATEMENT:

• I feel sleepy and unmotivated. No adrenaline rush due to mountain hiking or beach walking anymore. Time for something new, that will get my heart PUMPING!

• I DON’T think I can do it. I know myself…I have no discipline. I like new things but then get bored and throw them away. Them toys;) So I don’t think I can keep myself motivated. Why running and not swimming? What makes running different? Won’t I get bored once settled into a routine? Won’t I feel CRAPPY in the morning, all muscles sore…barely able to wake up and get dressed? All these are tied to NO DISCIPLINE. Why? No repercussions. Nobody to answer to but myself (and God).

• It won’t take up THAT much time, as I try to use as an excuse. For the beginners program, it’s just 10-30 min/day, 3 days/week. IS IT A BIG DEAL????????????? No, compared to the TONS of daily wasted time. Just have to move. That’s all. It doesn’t matter that I’m not dressed well, that my hair is not perfect, that it rains, that it’s cold(er)…Whatever I put on will work just fine. I’m not climbing Denali, for Pete’s sake!

• What a nice occasion to dress like a runner! And feel like a sports person:) Cool…I can try on some shiny gear. I’ll buy a stop watch.

• I need to reiterate: I REALLY feel sleepy...Need to get that energy way up, as it used to be when I wasn’t confined to my cute-looking cubicle (I’m serious, it’s nice…with all those vacation pictures, taken in the mountains…on the beaches).

• STOP whining and feeling sorry (for myself) that summer is over…like that would mean everything stops now…I can do almost everything-run, walk, admire flowers, trees, the river..shop, go clubbing, get phone numbers, dress well…It’s just going to be a bit different. Plus, I love the night! The NIGHT is YOUNG! Not in a shakespearean sense…but because I am young, clubs and bars and restaurants and houses are full of young…

Posted by Exam-exam-exam at 7:32 AM | Permalink | Comments