My Exam (former My Running)

What did I do to this blog?

2006-12-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

I'm changing the focus of this blog from running to the EXAM .

The deadline is Feb 12, 2007.

-2 months-

I currently have 2 books that I'm supposed to go through..both from Kaplan (which prides itself to be the best for this kind of test). I've devided the first one into Math & English then subdivided everything into chapters.
This week, Dec 11-17, I set my goal to cover all Math (4 chapters).
Then, the goal is to take one full practice exam on Saturday (3 3/4 hours?).

Now...I've set the goal alright...but it's already Tuesday and I haven't strated on the problems for the first chapter, "Problem Solving" (50 problems). I seem to be either lazy or unmotivated. I need almost 2 hours to go through them. I shouldn't feel the pressure just yet. There IS time! Time..is on my side/Yes it is! :)

***I shouldn't forget that if I finish 1 book in 2 weeks...then I have ALL the time in the world to finess anything that needs finessing. I can actually think about having a margin for error (1 extra week).

***I really have to move my a__ and study in December! I'll feel so much better knowing I have done so much already:)

***Lol, my biggest issue is stress:). I'd rather (unconsciously) not think about the BIG EXAM then take small, baby steps...sweet, calming, good steps towards studying for it. IT'S ONE STEP at a time.

Sweet thoughts..

2006-10-20T06:34:00.000-07:00

I've been running a bit, but really not pushing myself. I guess I am not used to bad weather running. I am more into bad weather couch-potatoing;)))), a habit that I struggle to give up.

I find myself thinking about an Energizer Bunny..but just occasionally... who knows where he is? Maybe flying to some distant corner of the US..maybe partying with a stranger (who's never gonna be more than a stranger), late at night, in a bar somewhere...shining, as usual...

Yesterday I studied a bit...it seemed to go fine (as in "too easy"), which is deceiving. The exam is 3 months away.

***At least I caught up with other people's blogs--always nice, interesting and adventurous lectures for the bored and blue spirit.

Back to running

2006-10-13T10:36:00.000-07:00

I will run today. I can't wait..I am REALLY missing it.

I will try to stay away from asphalt surfaces and run on grass. No tilting forward...I will stretch before and after ( with some Bikram yoga...hehe...while all exercises look beautiful, some are quite unattainable for me right now in terms of flexibility:)

Later on I'll keep moving -on the dance floor, baby! Isn't that the best workout ever? Dancing for 2 hours straight:)

--PS: I've been slacking at both running and studying for the exam. My bad. Tomorrow -50 problems

Advice on back pain, anyone?

2006-10-11T09:51:00.000-07:00

Ok. I run yesterday, this time close to my house. I didn't feel like driving to the Community Center. It was dark already.

I managed ~1.25 miles again...I can't seem to go past this point yet. I should really go back to a schedule (not skipping so many days). About half-way in the run, I stopped to catch my breath for a minute...I almost threw up near a fence. Hehe! But I felt better soon and started running.

Now here's my dilemma: when I run, I feel great! Afterwards, 24/7 I have this constant back pain. I feel it all the time, when I sit for 8 hours at work, when I drive but mostly when I am in bed (shouldn't I feel comfortable at least then?). No matter how I toss and turn, my lower back seems to have a mind of its own. Is this something normal?

Pink ribbon

2006-10-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

A girl I knew from work, about my age, passed away from breast cancer today.

Saturday run ended at Oktoberfest

2006-10-08T15:57:00.000-07:00

Running update:
This Sat at 6:30pm I went for a run around the Recreation Center.
I run for ~1 mile and walked the rest .25. Good news: no back pain afterwards (endorphines, of course). However I was out of breath and pretty sore.

Next (well, in a couple of hours)...I ended up at Oktoberfest, at the Detroit Zoo.

For $5 we got access to the world of dark/light beer, German food, huge TVs and anxious Tigers fans-all in a big, white tent.
Go Tigers!

***Afterwards we went to a local club and saw one of the actors from "Fashion House." He's so cute! I guess he was in town for the Yankees-Tigers game:)

Pain in my back already?

2006-10-05T12:27:00.000-07:00

I've had the pleasure of visiting some very interesting blogs, mixing poetry/ prose with running (one that stuck with me, due to its unusual name, was "A blog about nothing"). I'm all for that mix!

I've done more studying than running these past few days. I have found excuses..the weather, the cold, my fatigue after work. The main thing actually has some truth to it...my BACK has hurt after the last run. How can this be? I'm 25, in good shape, never had back problems, my shoes are comfortable, I have acceptable posture...But the pain in my back has been so bizarre and persistent! I feel it sometimes in the bone, other times in the muscles. It is pretty hard to sit for 8 hours..I am far from complaining...just wondering why this is happening:) And whether I should run or not. I want to and I think I will, since it's sunny today.

Are runners selfish?

2006-10-04T11:04:00.000-07:00

Are they? Are we?
Every runner seems to be keeping to himself/herself.

I've looked at about a dozen blogs on running, mostly running journals. They don't abound in comments...it's like other runners don't really care about anybody's progress but their own. Do runners ever read other people's blogs? Do they ever offer advice to the novices? Why this self-centeredness?

***Somehow, this pic of winter near the Mackinaw Bridge seems to illustrate my feelings better then 1000 words. It speaks of distance, coolness and indiference.

Rainy Michigan day

2006-10-03T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all.. Today I'll be running again, although it's pretty bad outside. Temps are in the 70s but it's very humid around here (by the Great Lakes).

It has rained all day yesterday and it's continuing to do so this morning. The immense gray sky seems to be disintegrating above us.

I don't have good gear for rainy days:( Just polyester t-shirt and pants..but no impermeable outside layer.

***Wondering what the pic is? My dream house Up-North:)

Photos -walking on the beach

2006-10-02T12:54:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics I've taken this summer, while
walking on the beach ("Costinesti" resort-Romania).
Aaaaah, summer!

Enjoy!

8th run

2006-10-02T07:03:00.000-07:00

My running...my running....

After a Friday night that turned out to be "young" (as Shakespeare said) for too long (3am), ay ay ay I woke up Sat morning (at 11am) with a heaviness in my limbs and a generally poor disposition. I have really scattered memories of what exactly I did to occupy my time for a while..probably ate and surfed the net.

Eventually, "duty" got to me and here I was, on my two feet, dressed up, hair pulled in a pony-tail...Out the door I went to a Barnes &Noble! Why? Cuz they have Starbuczzzz and a nice atmosphere, conducive to studying hard.

I got a hot chocolate and sat quietly at a table, solving 50 Math problems. Behind me...four ladies (and another one via cell phone) were having some kind of loud conference-call, about students and classroom activities....ah, but I was too concentrated on my task to care (the dirty looks don't count). I was done in 1 hour and 44 minutes...

But this blog is about running...right? Well, as mentioned before, it isn't JUST about running...Running can function as a prop for something else: studying. There's this test I'm going to take in Feb... I need to create/learn DISCIPLINE. I can do my BEST when juggling multiple hard things. Focusing on just the test...neah! That's why I need my running:)

So Sat evening, at 7:30pm, I went to the Rec Center again...It was cold and I could feel the rain in the air. Not a soul was bothering me..there, in the heart of the suburbs usually so noisy.
The sun was setting again...this time everything around me was milky. Fog was rising from the fields in a calm, warm ballet...I always am seduced by how ever-changing these sunsets are...this one had very delicate red and orange nuances...dying slowly...

I ran the full 1.25 mile trail, in 15 minutes. It seemed too slow for me...maybe next time I should do it in 10-11 min? I must mention here the fact that I stopped for some time, to answer a phone call from a friend, wanting me to go with her to a club that Sat night. The call came in just in time...I was out of breath and exhausted, although there was 1/4th of the distance still to go! Why did that happen? I couldn't stop thinking that it had to do with my messing up my sleep/rest routine the night before:)

I increased my speed on that remaining 1/4th...and was completely out of breath in the end. No good. My lungs hurt...my throat was dry...my 2 t-shirts were soaked (and mind you, one is 100% poliester). The most annoying thing of all was the swamp-like air...so HUMID! I hate it...it makes me sick.

I got home...took a bath...and ended up in my cozy, warm bed, with an amasing book in my hand "Measure of a mountain," by Bruce Barcott. I couldn't put it down...

7th run

2006-09-29T12:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, my 7th.

I'm proud that I've made it this far. Didn't think I'd stick with it for 3 weeks.

This was a superb night! A superb run! A majestic, dark-blue, starry NIGHT that felt young and deep. I felt sucked in by all this...NATURE. It was a contagious beauty.

Again, I walked ~5min, from the parking lot to the Western side of the trail (which is of a trapezoidal shape). The sun had already set but there was still a light show going on below the clouds. I barely convinced myself to turn my back to it and start running.

I was planning on going the whole 1.25 miles again. I paced myself quite well...didn't feel tired...wasn't dizzy either...After more than half the distance, I passed the Northern entrance of the recreation Center Library and was suddenly faced with the immensity of the dark blue sky..full of bright, sparkling stars. It was all...trembling, almost breathing...that huge night was consuming itself while irresistibly putting on a vast show for us runners..."the night would die of consumption," I thought. It is trying too hard to be beautiful..to get noticed! And what was up with that surreal-looknig quarter moon, so...yellow and so...fairy-tale-like?
I was listening to "Love Song" again...but strangely thinking about someone else...actually the person that had inspired me to run. Before him, I haven't met anybody that really run:) I was impressed with his determination...and I have also seen his results. Wow.. Yeah, so now I found myself thinking about him...I couldn't say why (except for the fact that it gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling:) Yep..but it went away later...

5th,6th run

2006-09-29T12:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday..
My mom came too..
We each went our separate ways...I wanted to follow my training schedule.
So I walked for 5 min up to a big fence-the end of the Western part of th trail and the begining of someone's yard...and then I turned around and started running. I run and run East..and it suddenly started raining. Not too much in the beginning, so I continued my run...evetually it started pouring decadently...an idecent, cold and sinister autumn rain...September rain that felt like the touch of Death, depressing my spirit, taking away my space, with its long and hysterical water drops. At this moment, I had already turned North on the trail...and could see a group of parents quickly disassemblying a large cart full of goodies-drinks and free food. My mom would later tell me that she had passed them too, when it wasn't raining yet...and that she kind of wanted to get a taste of the food (there was some type of Harvest festival going on). She didn't...she continued her walk and was close to the car when that BIG RAIN started. She would wait for me about 6 minutes until I made it to the car -a poor looking creature, soaked and red-cheeked..and annoyed that she couldn't finish the run.
Total running time ~10minutes.

Sunday...

I went runnig at sunset again. This time is was just cold...but one could see a beautiful, rich-colored sun sinking in the cloud blanket below. Let us dip the end of the day in red and violet!
I RUN THE WHOLE 1.25 mile circuit!!!! Hurray!

I didn't plan on it but it happened. I started slowly and kept going and going like the pink you-know-what:) I was a bit sad...thinking of him again...of how it all happened..of how I couldn't believe that much time had passed...I was listening to the beautiful, sexy "Love Song," by Missez. Boy you make me wanna sing you a love song..

3rd run

2006-09-18T07:56:00.000-07:00

I ran again, this time at the Community Center. Just like Thursday. I ran slowly, on grass, at an even pace. It was ok…I felt short of breath a few times but managed to cope. Later in the run the muscles relaxed and I’d breathe easier.

I think I’ll always run at ~7pm, during that time of day when the light is sweet and calming.
I’ve pulled in the parking lot at sunset…there was a big sun, a red one..dipped in dark blue clouds. There was such peace, such sweetness around me..in the air. This time of day is almost mystical… When I was driving, surrounded by this beautiful, dying light, the word “zen” came to mind..

If on Thrusday I was able to run for about 13 minutes, on Sunday the best I could do were 10 minutes. Not because my legs or lungs hurt…but because of a very intense and sharp, localized pain in my stomach. I have no ideea what that was…maybe a muscle rebelling against running:) I eventually sat on a bench, listening to Bob Synclair’s “World, hold on,” until I felt better. The pain was practically gone. But I was too lazy to run again.

During the run, I remember looking at a tubby cat, playing in the tall grass below an alectriciy pole. I called her but she didn’t care…it seemed she had caught something, maybe a mouse. Later on I’ve seen a few guys playing soccer, on the big field bordered by the running trail.

1st run

2006-09-18T07:48:00.000-07:00

I have gone out of the house and let the rain drench me…

But I’ve gone on Trail #1! Yesss, through the woods, where I have discovered a short trail (the width of a car)..not very well kept but very pretty and… hidden. Unfortunately, it didn’t go all the way to the end…it’s pretty short. I had to turn back and start on the actual trail, bordering the road. It’s very narrow…and the WORLD was wet…I could hear the sandy earth, mixed with stones, being crunched under each step…Oh that rain!

At first I was out of breath with my lungs aching so gruesomly (begging me to stop). I started out pretty fast. Of course I slowed down after 1 min and then panted for some time..then walked, then ran again, at a more controlled pace. I tried to run whenever I didn’t feel that cruel pain/obstruction in my poor lungs. Eventually, almost when I had to turn back, I started feeling better. I was breathing easier, at full volume.

I must have looked like a miserable creature out there..with my wild-looking hair & pony tail, excessively red cheeks and the green parka, loosly tied around my waist and almost falling onto the ground. Not to mention that my cotton pants were soaked up to my knees, with some thorns and plants on them…Oh, and eventually my shoes became drenched, for I was jumping like a gazelle onto a large, green (now swampy) area.

It was fun. I stopped caring about my clothes, my body, my look…and eventually didn’t feel that dizzy anymore:))) I could actually concentrate and take in the view. I rested on the bridge, while the river run wild beneath…and it was muddy, chocolaty …and rain kept falling onto the surface…and I didn’t care. Stood there, felt the cold metal …and really felt like I was alone and didn’t have to be aware of anything else…

***Today, Wednesday, I bought a new pair of running pants. They’re 100% poliester…capri length. So I won’t get them wet, hopefully;)
Next I bought a pedometer/calorie counter/FM Radio…although after reading a few things online, may not be what I need (which is justa good oldfashioned stop watch). I’m content with my green poliester T-shirt (except for the color which does nothing to signal my presence in the woods or in the dark). I need some additional layer though, hopefully one in a bright color.

My running -MISSION STATEMENT

2006-09-18T07:32:00.000-07:00

The hardest thing is FINDING MOTIVATION. And keeping it.
I was tired of looking for it in books, magazines and other people...
I've decided to find MY reasons for MY running.

MISSION STATEMENT:

I feel sleepy and unmotivated. No adrenaline rush due to mountain hiking or beach walking anymore. Time for something new, that will get my heart PUMPING!

I DON’T think I can do it. I know myself…I have no discipline. I like new things but then get bored and throw them away. Them toys;) So I don’t think I can keep myself motivated. Why running and not swimming? What makes running different? Won’t I get bored once settled into a routine? Won’t I feel CRAPPY in the morning, all muscles sore…barely able to wake up and get dressed? All these are tied to NO DISCIPLINE. Why? No repercussions. Nobody to answer to but myself (and God).

It won’t take up THAT much time, as I try to use as an excuse. For the beginners program, it’s just 10-30 min/day, 3 days/week. IS IT A BIG DEAL????????????? No, compared to the TONS of daily wasted time. Just have to move. That’s all. It doesn’t matter that I’m not dressed well, that my hair is not perfect, that it rains, that it’s cold(er)…Whatever I put on will work just fine. I’m not climbing Denali, for Pete’s sake!

What a nice occasion to dress like a runner! And feel like a sports person:) Cool…I can try on some shiny gear. I’ll buy a stop watch.

I need to reiterate: I REALLY feel sleepy...Need to get that energy way up, as it used to be when I wasn’t confined to my cute-looking cubicle (I’m serious, it’s nice…with all those vacation pictures, taken in the mountains…on the beaches).

STOP whining and feeling sorry (for myself) that summer is over…like that would mean everything stops now…I can do almost everything-run, walk, admire flowers, trees, the river..shop, go clubbing, get phone numbers, dress well…It’s just going to be a bit different. Plus, I love the night! The NIGHT is YOUNG! Not in a shakespearean sense…but because I am young, clubs and bars and restaurants and houses are full of young…